Tuesday, December 20, 2005
SHOW REVIEW: "PIECES (OF ASS)" AT THE ROXY
Reviewed by Don Rose
Where can you hear beautiful women kvetch about being born with a tail, being a plus size model, getting married to Mr. "Knight Rider", wrestling with the existential question of whether a nurse's outfit is really clothes, and more -- all in one sitting? Only one place: the performance piece, "PIECES (of ass)". Of course, not all those descriptions describe the same woman, they apply to a bevy of beautiful babes, but what they all have in common is their desire to tell you, on stage, how being hot is not always as easy as it seems. Each may be radiant as a rose, but there are thorns aplenty.
Brian Howie’s hit show has played LA and other cities before, and will likely do so again; I was fortunate enough to attend opening night recently at the famous (or is it infamous?) Roxy on the Sunset Strip. The packed house was riveted on the ravishing ranters, who alternated stories in a smooth flowing string of pleasant performances. Some highlights:
...Ivory May, tall striking blonde from L.A. who is a plus size model plus so much more, was wonderful (in the interest of full disclosure and senseless self-promotion, she is a friend of mine, we met on the gameshow "Smush" a few years ago, which was on for about five seconds on USA Network). Ivory made great points in her monologue about, among other things, having to always add the "plus" to the "model" part of her self-description, something that was a pain at first, but which she eventually embraced. Of course, embracing one’s truth often pays off; now she makes a great living, and is no doubt laughing all the way to her plus-size bank account.
...Danielle James was a knockout (in looks and performance) as a thin ditzy French-speaking fille, frolicking about with long curly blonde locks (a Gallic goldilocks?), speaking ONLY French to the audience, tres rapide no less -- yet everyone got her message anyway, without her uttering an ounce of English. What was it? I don’t know, but it made everyone laugh. Comedy truly is the universal language (along with money and sex, but that's another column).
...Brunette babe Jill Bartlett roamed the stage like a panther (if that panther was slinky and sexy with an appealing bare midriff and great teeth), reminding us several times she was born with a "f***in' tail"! Tail with a tail, it almost writes itself. She had great stage presence, working the space well. She now sports a tattoo over her lower back, where her tail used to be -- are you writing your own jokes by now? I thought so, so I guess I can move on...
...Then there was the ex-soapstar, the actress/model once married to David Hasselhoff -- his babe before Baywatch, One Life To Live’s Catherine Hickland. Kat told us how Evel Knievel was the first man to tell her she was beautiful, which led her on the path to Hollywood. Daredevils in jumpsuits can have a profound effect on people's lives, something I can relate to. Stevel Knievel, Evel's lesser known brother (who once jumped the L.A. River), told me to become a writer, and look, here you are reading my words right now. Whoa. Life is weird.
...Also memorable was a tall blonde from New York, Barbara Christabella, who has appeared on SNL. In one monologue from the Roxy show, forced to wear a nurse's outfit, she made the excellent point that if you go to any hospital, there really aren't many R.N.’s traipsing around in such sexy duds. She wants to wear "real clothes", she tells her producers, who insist those ARE real clothes, and so the angst continues. Well, thank God she looks killer in them, at least. I mean, come on, things could be worse. She could be playing wronged cop Toots Long in a thong (hey, that’s my movie idea, don’t steal it, I know it needs some work).
...And finally, we got to know more about DJ Caroline D’Amore, who came out from the shadows of the side of the stage (her DJ area) to enter the spotlight of centerstage, belting out a funny monologue about a guy telling her she was "eminently f***able". Foul language in itself can be shockingly funny, sure, but her use of the above phrase was organically humorous; the excessiveness of its use added forcefulness and funniness to her case.
Oh heck, why am I overanalyzing, it was just funny, okay? The entire group was funny, is there anything more unfunny than a critic picking apart comedy? Uh, don't answer that. I think that’s my cue… do make sure to view “Pieces” next time it rolls into town… and till then, remember the immortal words of Evel Knievel: see you on the flipside!
P.S. Look for MY new show, "Critical Condition!", starring me as a critic trying to balance raising 52 children with writing a high-concept comedy. Rene Russo plays my wife, Bonnie Hunt my ex-wife, who I also have 52 kids with. Opening Mothers Day, closing Fathers Day.
P.P.S. "PIECES (of ass)" was Conceived & Directed by Brian Howie.
Presented by model/citizen, in association with MayFirst Productions.
For more info regarding future shows, please see: www.piecesofass.com .
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Don Rose is Editor In Chief of “The Rose Review”, an online magazine available at www.therosereview.com . He also serves as writer and editor for “New News Network”, at trrnnn.blogspot.com . He may be reached at ddrose@aol.com .
Where can you hear beautiful women kvetch about being born with a tail, being a plus size model, getting married to Mr. "Knight Rider", wrestling with the existential question of whether a nurse's outfit is really clothes, and more -- all in one sitting? Only one place: the performance piece, "PIECES (of ass)". Of course, not all those descriptions describe the same woman, they apply to a bevy of beautiful babes, but what they all have in common is their desire to tell you, on stage, how being hot is not always as easy as it seems. Each may be radiant as a rose, but there are thorns aplenty.
Brian Howie’s hit show has played LA and other cities before, and will likely do so again; I was fortunate enough to attend opening night recently at the famous (or is it infamous?) Roxy on the Sunset Strip. The packed house was riveted on the ravishing ranters, who alternated stories in a smooth flowing string of pleasant performances. Some highlights:
...Ivory May, tall striking blonde from L.A. who is a plus size model plus so much more, was wonderful (in the interest of full disclosure and senseless self-promotion, she is a friend of mine, we met on the gameshow "Smush" a few years ago, which was on for about five seconds on USA Network). Ivory made great points in her monologue about, among other things, having to always add the "plus" to the "model" part of her self-description, something that was a pain at first, but which she eventually embraced. Of course, embracing one’s truth often pays off; now she makes a great living, and is no doubt laughing all the way to her plus-size bank account.
...Danielle James was a knockout (in looks and performance) as a thin ditzy French-speaking fille, frolicking about with long curly blonde locks (a Gallic goldilocks?), speaking ONLY French to the audience, tres rapide no less -- yet everyone got her message anyway, without her uttering an ounce of English. What was it? I don’t know, but it made everyone laugh. Comedy truly is the universal language (along with money and sex, but that's another column).
...Brunette babe Jill Bartlett roamed the stage like a panther (if that panther was slinky and sexy with an appealing bare midriff and great teeth), reminding us several times she was born with a "f***in' tail"! Tail with a tail, it almost writes itself. She had great stage presence, working the space well. She now sports a tattoo over her lower back, where her tail used to be -- are you writing your own jokes by now? I thought so, so I guess I can move on...
...Then there was the ex-soapstar, the actress/model once married to David Hasselhoff -- his babe before Baywatch, One Life To Live’s Catherine Hickland. Kat told us how Evel Knievel was the first man to tell her she was beautiful, which led her on the path to Hollywood. Daredevils in jumpsuits can have a profound effect on people's lives, something I can relate to. Stevel Knievel, Evel's lesser known brother (who once jumped the L.A. River), told me to become a writer, and look, here you are reading my words right now. Whoa. Life is weird.
...Also memorable was a tall blonde from New York, Barbara Christabella, who has appeared on SNL. In one monologue from the Roxy show, forced to wear a nurse's outfit, she made the excellent point that if you go to any hospital, there really aren't many R.N.’s traipsing around in such sexy duds. She wants to wear "real clothes", she tells her producers, who insist those ARE real clothes, and so the angst continues. Well, thank God she looks killer in them, at least. I mean, come on, things could be worse. She could be playing wronged cop Toots Long in a thong (hey, that’s my movie idea, don’t steal it, I know it needs some work).
...And finally, we got to know more about DJ Caroline D’Amore, who came out from the shadows of the side of the stage (her DJ area) to enter the spotlight of centerstage, belting out a funny monologue about a guy telling her she was "eminently f***able". Foul language in itself can be shockingly funny, sure, but her use of the above phrase was organically humorous; the excessiveness of its use added forcefulness and funniness to her case.
Oh heck, why am I overanalyzing, it was just funny, okay? The entire group was funny, is there anything more unfunny than a critic picking apart comedy? Uh, don't answer that. I think that’s my cue… do make sure to view “Pieces” next time it rolls into town… and till then, remember the immortal words of Evel Knievel: see you on the flipside!
P.S. Look for MY new show, "Critical Condition!", starring me as a critic trying to balance raising 52 children with writing a high-concept comedy. Rene Russo plays my wife, Bonnie Hunt my ex-wife, who I also have 52 kids with. Opening Mothers Day, closing Fathers Day.
P.P.S. "PIECES (of ass)" was Conceived & Directed by Brian Howie.
Presented by model/citizen, in association with MayFirst Productions.
For more info regarding future shows, please see: www.piecesofass.com .
--------------
Don Rose is Editor In Chief of “The Rose Review”, an online magazine available at www.therosereview.com . He also serves as writer and editor for “New News Network”, at trrnnn.blogspot.com . He may be reached at ddrose@aol.com .
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Event Review: The Planetary Society's 25th Anniversary Gala
by Don Rose
Twas a starry starry night -- as in the stars of space, science and science fiction. A galaxy of them, plus their fans and friends, came out November 12th to celebrate the 25th anniversary of The Planetary Society, one of the leading organizations devoted to moving mankind off this Pale Blue Dot and off into the heavens.
The buzz in the room was palpable. Literally, since I got to meet Buzz, as in Aldrin, second man on the Moon (as if I need to tell you that, and if I do, it may be past your bedtime). Many other celebs of the sci-tech world also attended, including Vint Cerf , one of the Founding Fathers of the Internet (now at Google)... Ray Bradbury, titan of science fiction... Ed Stone, former head of the Jet Propulsion Lab... and Ann Druyan, widow of one of the co-founders of the Planetary Society, Carl Sagan (the other two co-founders, Bruce Murray and Louis Friedman, were of course in attendance). Ms. Druyan mentioned the DVD release of COSMOS, the groundbreaking PBS series which is also celebrating its 25th anniversary.
In addition to the wonderful dinner, the highlights of the awards gala at Santa Anita Park included Ray Bradbury receiving the Thomas O. Paine Award for the Advancement of Human Exploration of Mars... Nichelle Nichols, of Star Trek "Uhura" fame, reading a passage from Ray's classic tome, "The Martian Chronicles"... James Cameron receiving the Society's inaugural Cosmos Award for Outstanding Public Presentation of Science (accepted on his behalf by his colleague, fellow director Steve Quale)... Bill Nye (you know, the Science Guy) serving as affable and amiable host/MC for the evening... and a mock gameshow near the evening's close, where selected guests got to display their grasp of space/science knowledge within a humorous format.
To cap off the perfect evening, guests were indeed blessed with a starry night, for real, and got to enjoy it all the more thanks to the telescopes of various stripes set up outside, letting us gaze skyward. Bill Nye walking up excitedly and saying "Give me a hit of Mars!" was one of the classic lines of the night, as was Ed Stone saying the biggest surprise about Saturn was "finding the spokes" -- such statements encapsulate the fact that those who love science or practice it are folks who can revel in the beauty of the equations as well as the sheer wonder of it all, and the amazing fact that we can know anything at all about the world and worlds around us. Here's wishing the Planetary Society another successful 25 years, and here's hoping we will all eventually follow the advice of Arnold in "Total Recall" when he said, "Get your ass to Mars". I'm sure everyone at the gala in Arcadia would be first in line.
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Dr. Don Rose is Editor In Chief of “The Rose Review”, an online magazine available at www.therosereview.com . He also serves as writer and editor for “New News Network”, at trrnnn.blogspot.com . He may be reached at ddrose@aol.com .
